I love my kid. I love both my kids, but at present only one is living full time with me. 

I am divorced and currently my eldest son who is 17, lives with me full time. My younger son who is 12 lives with his dad, and for various reasons we don't see each other often. It is what it is for now. Each boy has their own journey to fulfill and they too have the right to exercise free will and choice.

I am usually up in the morning to see my lad off to school, but this morning afforded me an opportunity to linger under the covers.

We exchanged good byes and I love yous as he stood in the doorway of my bedroom, his backpack poised, Presto card ready in hand for the bus. He was EAGER to go to school. 

I grinned to myself thinking how proud I was of him. 

Eventually I roused myself and proceeded to embrace the morning and it's rituals. I had worked my way to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, and there it was.

A pot of coffee freshly brewed, my favorite mug set beside it, upside down to distinguish that it was clean and new... waiting .... for me.

I stopped dead in my tracks and absorbed the energy of what it signified. 

My son has extended this same gesture many times, as well as many other acts of kindness and love, but this FELT different. It felt like he was proud of himself for doing it. There was no hidden agenda or expectation of a payoff. It came from a sacred and loving place.

At the tender age of 17 my son has mastered what many adults spend a life time, and quite often life threatening epiphanies to understand.

He is comfortable in the quiet of his own company. He listens to and honors his body and environment, and he is beginning to forge out his own Truth.

He has finally come to understand the beauty of balance, equilibrium and harmony. For a long time he struggled with going back and forth to his dad's and then being with me. Needless to say the two households are polar opposites. One is filled with activity and busyness , and one is a sanctuary of peace, solitude and reflection.

He struggled because he felt that if he confided that he had a good time at his dad's, that somehow he was rejecting my lifestyle and vice versa.

After numerous talks with him, I believe he finally understands that he has the best of both worlds. Two parents who love him equally, but differently. He gets the opportunity to experience different aspects of himself while retaining the core essence and Truth of who he is. By virtue of having the safety of the sanctuary that we have created in our home, it allows him to go and be in a busier and more active environment. He knows how to balance it, and more importantly he appreciates both aspects. Neither household is better than,, they are different and they give him the opportunity to grow in different ways.

One day awhile back I was feeling stressed and frustrated. We were living in a 500 square foot bachelor apt. and there was nowhere for me to remove myself to for privacy. I told him I needed to meditate and could he please just give me some space. Without missing a beat he looked me square in the eye and said " Ah come on, why don't you just smoke and drink like everyone else" He laughed and hugged me tight. He has seen me go to the depths of hell and back, and through it all my Belief, Integrity, Truth and Honor have kept me afloat.

He still likes to stir me up occasionally and joke about my " Hippie Stuff" but I know he "gets it" And I KNOW, because of the FEELING I got in the kitchen this morning. It was pure love that prepared that coffee this morning. Divine Love.

As for my little guy,, he is in the process of "getting it" too.